50+ Top Funny Jokes For Kids
- What did the guitar say to the guitar player?
Stop stringing me along.
- Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
- I kept thinking I could hear music coming from my printer.
Turns out it is was jamming.
- What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married?
- Why do turkeys make the best drummers?
Because they have drumsticks.
- Why are pirates great singers?
They hit the high C’s.
- Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because someone put on the salsa.
- Why did the fish make such a good musician?
It was a natural with scales.
- What kind of music do rabbits like best?
- What do you call a musician with problems?
- What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast.
- Why is a baseball stadium always windy?
Because it’s full of fans.
- What kind of race is never run?
A swimming race.
- Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
- What kind of pets like NASCAR?
- Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she always runs away from the ball.
- Which type of goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, crossbars can’t jump.
- What animal can you always find at a baseball game?
- Why did the police attend the baseball game?
They heard that someone had stolen a base.
- Why should you avoid dinner with a basketball player?
Because they dribble.
- When is a baseball player like a spider?
When he catches a fly.
- Why is tennis such a loud sport?
The players raise a racquet.
- What time is it when a golf ball goes through a window?
Time to get a new window.
- What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
- Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in pole position.
- How is a baseball team like a pancake?
They both need a good batter.
- Why did the orange lose the race?
It ran out of juice.
- Which insect do you not want to see in goal?
A fumble bee.
- Why aren’t chickens good at sports?
Because they hit fowl balls.
- What do you get when you cross a baseball pitcher with a carpet?
A throw rug.
- Why don’t baseball players join unions?
Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
- Why are there no football stadiums in space?
Because there’s no atmosphere.
- Why did the baker put the birthday cake in the freezer?
Because it had to be iced.
- How did the birthday party guests break their teeth?
They bit into the marble cake.
- How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party?
There are footprints on your cake.
- What did the pirate say exactly one year after their 79th birthday?
- Patient: “Doctor, please help me. I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Well, next time, take off the candles.”
- What does a turtle do on its birthday?
- What do you sing to a kangaroo once a year?
- What kind of cake does the Ice Queen like to eat on her birthday?
The flavor doesn’t matter as long as it has lots of frosting.
- What’s the most stressful moment for a dragon?
Blowing out his birthday candles.
- What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee fan?
- What did the grumpy candle say?
“I hate birthdays. They burn me up.”
- What flavor cake do elves like on their birthday?
- Why do birthdays make kangaroos unhappy?
They only get to celebrate them in leap years.
- What do you give a 900-pound gorilla for its birthday?
I don’t know, but you’d better hope it likes it.
- Where does a snowman put birthday candles?
On their birthday flake.
- What do you sing to a cat on its birthday?
Happy birthday to mew.
- My family was so poor, the only thing I got on my birthday was another year older.
- I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday.
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
- Why should you stay away from trees?
They can be a little shady.