50+ Cool Funny Jokes For Kids
- My dogs are called Rolex and Timex.
They’re my watch dogs. - When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway. - I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity. - What did the buffalo say when its child left for college?
Bison. - Why are pediatricians always so angry?
Because they have little patients. - Why is “R” the pirate’s second favorite letter?
Because their first love is the C. - What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant. - Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
They woke up when the teacher shouted. - Why are mountains so good at telling jokes?
Because they’re hill areas. - What days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak days. - A man is washing his car with his son when the son asks him:
“Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?” - What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint. - A man was surprised to discover a fairy living at the end of his garden.
The fairy offered three wishes to the man if he’d keep the fairy’s existence a secret.
“Deal,” said the man.
“For my first wish, I’d like to be rich.”
“Okay, Rich,” said the fairy, “what would you like for your second wish?” - What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
About 5,000 miles. - How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them. - Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when the ships dock, it’s easy to Scandinavian. - What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper. - Why can’t you eat Wookie meat?
Because it’s chewy. - What do you call bears with no ears?
B. - Two goldfish are in a tank.
One fish says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?” - Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny. - What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill?
Walking. JK. Rolling. - Why don’t hippies like camping?
‘Cause it’s in tents, man. - How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool. - Yo mama’s so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- Yo mama’s so fat she walked past the TV and I missed six episodes.
- Yo mama’s so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
- Yo mama’s so old, her Social Security number is one.
- Yo mama’s so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
- Yo mama’s so fat her belly gets home 15 minutes before the rest of her.
- Yo mama’s so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
- Yo moma’s so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld.
- Yo mama’s so short her head smells like feet.
- Yo mama’s so old her memory is in black and white.
- Yo mama’s so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.
- Yo mama’s so stupid she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.
- Yo mama’s house is so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
- Yo mama’s so ugly, when she was little, she could only trick-or-treat by phone.
- Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- Yo mama’s so skinny her pajamas only have one stripe.
- Yo moma’s so fat, she has to use a satellite to take selfies.
- Yo mama’s so lazy she’s got a remote control just to operate her remote.
- Yo mama’s so ugly not even goldfish will smile back.
- Yo mama’s so short, people thought she was a Funko Pop
- Yo mama’s so old that when she was in school, history classes hadn’t been invented.
- Yo mama’s so stupid if she said what’s on her mind she’d probably be speechless.
- Yo mama’s so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
- Yo mama’s so fat she doesn’t skinny dip, she chunky dunks.
- Yo mama’s so stupid she dropped a rock on the ground and missed.
- Yo mama’s so ugly, she made a Happy Meal cry.
- Yo mama’s so dirty a tornado hit her house and did $10,000 worth of improvement.
- Yo mama’s so small she got run over by a Hot Wheel.
- Yo mama’s house is so small, if you buy a large pizza you have to go outside to eat it.
- Yo mama’s so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
- Yo mama’s so ugly that even Scooby Doo couldn’t solve that mystery.
- Yo mama’s so fat she has two watches; one for each time zone she’s in.
- Yo mama’s so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers.